melange (m3lang3) wrote in vulgaria,
melange
m3lang3
vulgaria

This has the two best lines I've ever seen in a news article:


Rugby fan can't explain self-mutilation


November 16, 2005 - 6:49AM

A rugby fan who cut out his testicles with wire cutters to mark a Wales victory is at a loss to explain why he did it.

Geoffrey Huish, 31, performed the impromptu self-surgery in February when his beloved Wales beat world champions England.

After performing the deed, Mr Huish put his severed anatomy in a bag and took them to his local social club to show fellow fans.

He collapsed with blood loss and was rushed to hospital but surgeons could not reattach his missing parts.

He was put in a psychiatric ward but has no history of mental illness and was at a loss to explain why he did it.

"I'd told my pal Gethin Probert before the game that Wales didn't stand a chance," Mr Huish told The Sun.

"It wasn't a bet but I said I'd cut my b*lls off if we won.

"I listened to the game on the radio at home by myself.

"After the match I got up for a pee and saw the cutters in the bathroom.

"Gethin had left them after repairing the chain on my toilet.

"I remembered what I'd said and thought he had left them for me.

"I thought 'Oh no, I haven't got to do anything like that have I' and then I thought 'You can do it'.

"So I started hacking away at my tackle.

"It took about 10 minutes and there was quite a bit of pain but I just kept going.

"The cutters were blunt so I had to keep snipping."

After picking his testicles from the toilet bowl, he went to the social club.


"I went in and shouted out 'I've done it!'," Mr Huish said.

"I took my b*lls out and passed them in the bag to a friend.

"Some people then laid me on the floor."

Mr Huish continues to see a psychiatrist.

"I think about what happened every day and still haven't come up with a good reason why," he said.

"I'd had a lot going on and felt a bit down.

"I can't have kids now but still want a family - maybe I'll adopt."

© 2005 AAP
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